It always irritates me that women in movies scream helplessly whenever things go wrong.
As if that will help.
I grew up with a big sister.
I’ve seen her do things most men couldn’t do.
But I’ve never once heard her scream.
I find women like her much more impressive.
Much more what you want around when things go wrong.
Let me give you two examples.
After doing A levels, Gordon Smith’s daughter, Annie, went to teach English in Sri Lanka.
She went to a remote village that had no phones, no electricity, no sanitation.
Eventually Annie came home and went to university in Manchester.
A few months later, she started coughing in the middle of the night.
She had something in her throat and couldn’t shift it.
She got up and went to the toilet.
She was trying to cough something up, but it wouldn’t come out.
She couldn’t cough it free, so she put her fingers in her mouth.
She reached down her throat and grabbed it.
Then she pulled it free.
It was a fat, wriggling creature an inch or so long.
Somewhere between a slug and a worm.
Instead of screaming, flinging it down the toilet and running away, Annie did something much more useful.
She got a tin and put it in it.
Then the next day, she took the tin to the hospital.
She showed them the worm, dried up by now.
They asked her where she’d been recently.
When Annie said Sri Lanka, they asked her if she’s eaten any eggs.
She thought she had.
They said what she had was a worm that was often contracted from eggs.
It was barely visible at first, but over several months grew to be much larger.
They said she probably had four or five live worms growing inside her.
They prescribed some medicine that would kill the worms so her body could expel them.
All handled very sensibly and calmly, with the minimum of fuss.
Because Annie didn’t think screaming would be useful.
If Annie had screamed and flushed the worm down the toilet, they wouldn’t have known any of that.
And the other worms would still have been growing inside her.
Very similar to when I broke my arm.
I was cycling with my daughter on a jungle island just off the coast of Singapore.
I was teaching her to ride a bike with no hands.
Or more accurately I wasn’t.
Because I rode full speed off the dirt road, straight down a bank, and straight into a boulder.
I stood up, dazed, head ringing, blood on my T shirt, and looked at my bent arm hanging limply down.
My daughter looked at the state I was in, but she didn’t scream.
She said “Give me the paperback book out of your back pocket Dad.”
And she wrapped it like a flexible splint round my arm.
Then she said “Give me your belt Dad.”
And, using the notches, she tightened it round the paperback book.
Then she lead me back to A&E on the mainland.
There the doctor asked who’d done the splint, was it someone with medical training?
The nurse agreed, she said she hadn’t seen one like it before but she was impressed.
They agreed the flexible splint had been the best way to treat the break, and saved a lot of pain later.
All because my daughter hadn’t thought screaming would be useful.
That’s the sort of people I want around me.
People who slot straight into coping mode.
People who don’t let their emotions override their reason.
People whose initial reaction to any crisis is “Let’s sort it out first and worry about it later.”
That’s the sort of people I like to work with.
I had a girlfriend who used to scream a lot
The Cabbie - 6 August 2012 9:23 am
Ah yes, that would be Ubin island, Dave? It’s treacherous. Broken many arms, teeth and ego.
Robin. - 6 August 2012 9:27 am
What’s the best way to cope when you’re forced to deal with screamers?
Tom Stephens - 6 August 2012 9:29 am
Tom,
You can’t deal with them, you have to find a way around them.
Just get them out of the way so that other people can get on with their job.
Dave Trott - 6 August 2012 9:48 am
How to deal with hysterical people:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qvPugcb7QGE
Ed - 6 August 2012 9:57 am
In the old b&w shows, Bogart would slap ‘em around til they came to their senses. Of course, these days, that would open you to a charge of common assault. Still, without those hysterical broads, those shows would be less interesting.
Robin. - 7 August 2012 8:31 am
Robin,
Recently saw a great TV series about women who ruled UK: “She Wolves of Britain”.
Women like Boudicca, Matilda, Bloody Mary, Elizabeth I, Victoria, Thatcher.
Not sure anyone would have slapped them around.
Dave Trott - 7 August 2012 8:50 am
Denis Thatcher when once asked – “Who wears the trousers in the family.” Replied, “I iron them and I wear them.”
Jim - 7 August 2012 5:08 pm
Dave,
I’m now wondering what movies you are watching with screaming women.
john p woods - 7 August 2012 5:46 pm
Dave,
Btw I’d have slapped Thatcher around but of course in the metaphorical sense, I’d never advocate getting physical with the fairer species. Mind you getting back to Thatcher I’m not sure that would be the case. Maybe my background colours my opinion but IMHO it’s more than a North/South divide, I’d say, probably closer to a North,East & West/South divide.
john p woods - 7 August 2012 5:53 pm
Dave,
Of course I meant, ‘metaphysical’ as ‘metaphorical’ makes no sense. Am I making sense?
john p woods - 7 August 2012 6:52 pm
Change the quote to fit: ‘Where there is harmony, may we bring discord. Where there is truth, may we bring error. Where there is faith, may we bring doubt. And where there is hope, may we bring despair.’
Conservative central policy at the time seemed to want the South-East to win at the expense of everybody else, from where I was standing.
john p woods - 8 August 2012 7:26 am
Love that quote Jim.
Dave Trott - 8 August 2012 8:45 am
John,
What you see depends on which end of the telescope you look down.
You look down one end of the telescope you see Thatcher.
You look down the other end of the telescope you see Scargill.
Take your pick.
Dave Trott - 8 August 2012 8:49 am
Dave,
Is it really that cut and dried?
john p woods - 8 August 2012 8:55 am
“Change the quote to fit: ‘Where there is harmony, may we bring discord. Where there is truth, may we bring error. Where there is faith, may we bring doubt. And where there is hope, may we bring despair.’
Conservative central policy at the time seemed to want the South-East to win at the expense of everybody else, from where I was standing.”
“Dave,
Is it really that cut and dried?”
You tell me John.
Dave Trott - 8 August 2012 10:28 am
Dave,
I’m not sure we have got the time at the moment to discuss the merits/demerits of Her Thatcher and the effect on society then and now.
john p woods - 8 August 2012 5:08 pm
Dave,
Btw Labour gave them a Foot but Jo Public ran a mile.
We won’t mention the Beast of Bolsover.
john p woods - 8 August 2012 6:47 pm
I guess that’s why
“! ”
on road traffic signs
means
THINK.
Kev - 9 August 2012 5:24 pm