Someone recently sent me an email of advertising scripts.
I get lots of emails like this.
People sending me their ideas and asking me to comment.
Let me give you the shortened version of this particular email.
There are 5 ideas for commercials.
The first two are for a sweet.
In the first commercial a picture is about to fall off the wall, and a sweet is about to fall off the table.
The man ignores the picture, grabs the sweet and pops it into his mouth.
The picture crashes to the floor.
He doesn’t care because he’s enjoying the delicious sweet.
In the second commercial a man is in a bicycle race.
A young spectator is about to pop a sweet into his mouth.
The man grabs it as he rides by, and eats it.
They boy’s family give chase.
The fear of being caught causes the man to win the race.
In each case the strapline is ‘The Bite Of Your Life’.
The next commercial is for a beer.
A man and a woman are walking along the beach, they see two beer bottles.
One bottle has a message in, the woman reads it and smiles.
The other bottle contains beer, the man drinks it and burps.
The woman frowns, the man smiles.
The strapline is ‘A Message of Pleasure”.
The next commercials are for a camera.
In the first, a woman gets dressed but forgets to put any knickers on.
As she is having her photograph taken she falls over.
The snap is taken as she is on her back, legs akimbo.
In the next commercial a man with a wig is sitting at a table nearby.
As the woman falls over she grabs the wig from his head and holds it between her legs.
At that instant the photo is taken.
In each case the strapline is “Catch Your Moment”.
Now that’s pretty much the level of ideas I get sent.
Pick any old product (sweet, beer, camera) and write a joke.
Then put some vaguely relevant pun on the end.
Job done, right?
But is it?
Is it really as simple as any old joke will sell any old product?
All I’m told in the first two ads is that it’s for a sweet.
I’m not even told the name.
Apparently it’s not important.
It could be for any sweet, so we don’t need to know anything about it.
Is it fruitier or creamier, crunchier or chewier, for kids or grownups?
Apparently we don’t need to know a single thing.
It’s a sweet, and all a sweet needs is a joke about people not being able to resist it, and a pun at the end, right?
On to the beer.
Again, it doesn’t even have a name, apparently it doesn’t matter.
We don’t even need to know what country the beer comes from: Mexico, USA, France, Japan, Brazil, Australia.
All beer is exactly the same as all other beer.
All we need is a joke about men preferring beer to anything, and a pun at the end, right?
Same with cameras.
We don’t need to know the name of the camera.
This is just an idea for selling cameras, see.
And all cameras are the same as all other cameras.
So who cares whether it’s a digital camera or not.
Whether it’s expensive or not.
What quality the pictures are.
What are the speeds, functions, availability, colours, whatever.
And who would buy it: men, women, children, professionals, grannies.
And what for: fun shots, holiday shots, work, dark-light, bright-light, action shots, portraits.
None of that matters.
All we need is a joke about cameras, and a pun on the end, right?
Because everything is exactly like everything else.
So that’s all advertising does.
Sell stuff that is exactly like all other stuff.
Don’t bother about what you’re selling.
Write a joke and put a pun at the end.
That’s all there is to advertising.
And that’s the sophisticated argument that lead to the belief that brand is all there ever is.
All products are identical to all other products.
The only possible difference is the brand.
So all we have to talk about is brand.
Since the product doesn’t matter we don’t have to say anything at all about it, ever.
It’s irrelevant.
But how does that work in the real world.
What sort of impact does that have on consumers?
Take a look at the scripts I get sent, by people trying to get into advertising, and you get a rough idea.
Dave, I think the problem is awards. They tend to reward ideas like the ones you mentioned. As they say, ‘monkey see, monkey do’, so no surprise you get those unsolicited scripts. That said, I suspect that maybe the lack of a name is because the perps don’t want you to know which agency they’re from?
Robin. - 6 June 2012 9:48 am
I completely take your point on camera advertising. I look at camera ads and despair because they don’t tell you the zoom range, the f/stops or anything else. Almost every brand just says with a million megapixels and designed by award-winning Italian etc etc.
But what’s worse, consumers accept it – they say, oh, we just go online and look up dpReview, stevesdigicam or some other site. And these aren’t cheap cameras.
Robin. - 6 June 2012 9:56 am
OR…
Cyclist drinks beer before race, burps and smiles.
He’s photographed (portrait).
During race he’s at the back and still burping when he steals sweet. And is photographed (action).
Wins race with family in pursuit and all are photographed crossing winning line (group).
“Sweet stolen “moments of pleasure” captured forever”.
Costs each client a third of the fee. Collaborative branding becomes the norm. Awards won. Agency folds.
Re-work for HMG sponsored drink/crime prevention/obesity and exercise campaigns.
I’ll get my coat.
Cliff Peat - 6 June 2012 11:17 am
Is it because life is just one big joke?
john p woods - 6 June 2012 1:18 pm
All the world’s a stage and we’re all just jesters.
Robin. - 6 June 2012 1:25 pm
For sweets, humor is kind of what everyone does, so it’s all expected on some level. I won’t comment on beer advertising as it has become rather a joke in itself. The camera…that’s basically writing a joke without considering the product. What makes this camera perfect for catching your moment? Is it light, easily carried, always ready, auto-focusing, point and shoot, etc.? There’s a lot more funny to be had in those ideas. So, not only did they not sell the product, they weren’t as funny as they could be.
But… these are people who want to get into advertising. Are they students? If so, they’re products of what they’re taught and what they see in the marketplace. What are they to think when they see rubbish adverts every time they change the channel? Rubbish is what’s running so it must not be rubbish, right?
Chris Seiger - 6 June 2012 1:38 pm
I think you’re right Chris.
I think that’s exactly what they think.
Dave Trott - 6 June 2012 1:55 pm
I’m sure we all know people who have a folder of ‘fits any category brilliant ideas’, where they simply change ‘sweet’ to ‘camera’ to ‘beer’.
There are also those people who get a brief and immediately seek inspiration (or refuge) in the annuals.
I don’t know why people hoard ideas: surely the point of being creative is that we can make lots of them?
Tom - 6 June 2012 2:00 pm
Dave, it’s interesting when you take audience perceptions of the situation to create humour that manages to comment on your brand/product.
There’s a commercial you may have seen, for John Smiths, with a juggling dog. The deadpan delivery and taciturn dialogue works because it ties in with what we think of Yorkshiremen, dour, straightfaced, don’t say much, speak their mind, but with a deep love and understanding of beer. It wouldn’t work as well, imo, if they were Welsh or Cornish…
Or is that just the sort of guff that planners talk…
Tom - 6 June 2012 2:10 pm
Or, and in case you’re wondering, I’m NOT a planner…
Tom - 6 June 2012 2:10 pm
No Tom, that’s precisely my point.
Dave Trott - 6 June 2012 2:20 pm
It’s your film, Dave, and one of my favourites ever. I’m still laughing at it all these years later.
But to take your point, how does it distinguish JS from other beers?
Is it creamier, tastier, made from premium ingredients (‘reassuringly expensive’)?
(I’m pretty sure it’s not aspirational unless flat caps have come back in since I left Yorkshire.)
I’m genuinely interested to know what makes it work, not as a piece of humour – that’s obvious – but as a selling tool for the beer.
And – if I haven’t said it before – thanks for all the great work and inspiration over the years!
Tom - 6 June 2012 2:30 pm
Haha. Just sent you an idea Dave. Then read this. Hope I’m not guilty of any of the above.
rachel carroll - 6 June 2012 3:27 pm
Is there anything wrong with a joke that’s inherent of the product or a product attribute?
Is there anything wrong with a preemptive claim? Saying something the competition could say but you say it first and own it?
john p woods - 6 June 2012 3:46 pm
Tom,
That wasn’t me, John Webster did that from a story i told him.
But the first thing is it’s a Yorkshire beer.
So what you’re selling is all the positive aspects of Yorkshire as perceived by Southerners.
Everything that would make a Yorkshire beer superior.
Straight talking, no nonsense, demand quality, love their beer over anything.
Remember that was a campaign of several dozen ads.
So in this one a man and his dog in the pub, and even the Yorkshire dog goes mad for the beer.
Now of course you could do that for a sweet, or a camera, or a bra, or a holiday company, or shoes, or anything else.
But I don’t really think it would be relevant.
Dave Trott - 6 June 2012 3:52 pm
Dave,
Why, ‘as perceived by Southerners’? Was JS being pushed in the home counties?
john p woods - 6 June 2012 4:00 pm
Am I persona no grata? Is it something I said? No blogger answers.
john p woods - 6 June 2012 4:46 pm
John,
We had a different campaign running in Yorkshire, because Yorkshiremen perceive themselves differently.
Southerners like the flat hat image of oop North, but they see themselves more as Rodney Bewes from The Likely Lads.
Dave Trott - 6 June 2012 5:08 pm
Yorkshiremen perceive themselves differently. Ne’er a truer word spoken.
john p woods - 6 June 2012 5:20 pm
Thanks, Dave, very enlightening.
Mind you, I figure if it’s your story, it’s your film.
One thing, though, eh though but, me an’ t’other Northerners, we see us selves as more like Terry Collier… that Bob Ferris, soft enough to be from t’ South…
Tom - 6 June 2012 5:22 pm
Thanks Dave,
Very illuminating. I’m now going through my book with an even finer comb.
As for the preemptive claim, I guess that’s a no-no but a joke that’s relevant to the product is entirely ok.
john p woods - 6 June 2012 6:54 pm
Btw is the mnemonic dead or as in the example of ‘Don’t just book it, Thomas Cook it’ http://www.travelweekly.co.uk/Articles/2008/12/26/29831/dont-just-book-it.thomas-cook-it-slogan-returns-after-15-year.html there’s life in the old dog yet?
john p woods - 6 June 2012 7:16 pm
Sorry for the further intrusion but just so we’re clear this is a joke that’s inherent to the product, right? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CqVANvjRsXE
john p woods - 6 June 2012 7:24 pm
Dave,
Who is #1?
john p woods - 6 June 2012 8:04 pm
John
Proper grownup advertising starts with the problem, then answers the problem.
Silly childish advertising starts with the answer.
Dav Trott - 6 June 2012 8:20 pm
Einstein said “if I only had a day to save the world I would spend 23 hours defining the problem and an hour on the solution.”
Proper advertising works like that.
BBH at its best works like that.
Dav Trott - 6 June 2012 8:23 pm
Sometimes growing a generic market is the best business solution.
The problem with these ad’s are that they’re just plain rubbish.
Ben - 7 June 2012 8:38 am
Ben,
Of course you’re right.
The clue is in the word ‘sometimes’.
We get paid to know the difference.
Obviously there’s usually only one market leader in any market.
For them it may well make sense to grow the market with generic advertising.
But there are always many followers and challengers.
For them to do generic advertisng is reinforcing the status quo, at best.
That has to be dumb and/or lazy.
Dave Trott - 7 June 2012 8:54 am
Dave,
What is the problem for Doritos? Lack of standout from the competition?
Same with Thomas Cook up against a plethora of travel agents.
They just seem to use a well worn device albeit one that works.
john p woods - 7 June 2012 9:15 am
Dave, lots of relevant points as always… However, it has always been very contradictory whether the adverts should appeal to consumers’ emotions or reason. Thanks God, there are no more old wordy Persil adverts, where we get talked through all the ‘whiter’, ‘cleaner’ clothes etc. These scripts were kept short and simple and are partly fun but lack sections as tone of voice, target audience etc. If consumers want to find out anything more about the products (‘Is it fruitier or creamier, crunchier or chewier, for kids or grownups’) – there is Internet and there are labels for that matter.
Angelina - 7 June 2012 8:18 pm
dave,
i remember meeting one of Ed’s former employees in New York years ago. His name was Earl Carter. And he said something that made a deep impression on me. he said that all advertising was judged by the “previous information” the audience had. so no Volvo ad, for example, was judged in a vacuum. it was judged either good or bad,by the audience, based on the advertising that had come before it.
that is so true. the audience is the expert because, whether we are aware of it or not, we have supplied them with the criteria to judge our current efforts.
vinny warren - 8 June 2012 5:21 am
Dave,
When I arrived at WPP in Saudi Arabia.
My predecessor had won the business for a major steel producer.
The work was thin.
The endline was good but totally unsubstatiated.
It was lazy work.
Most CD’s would probably have run with it so as not to upset anyone.
You can imagine the MD’s shock when I walked in and told him we’d have to
go back to the drawing board on the business if we wanted to keep it.
Fortunately he was a very good MD.
He took another look at the work and agreed.
He then sent an account director to the client.
The acount director set up an office in their hometown.
He studied every aspect of steel production for a month with the client.
Then he came back dropped several tomes of information on my desk
and said: Read this. Read all of it.
I was very busy at the time, so I took it home and read it at night
and read it for breakfast, and read it for lunch.
Now they expected some ads.
Not yet.
We went and visited the factory for two days.
A steel factory in Saudi Arabia in July?
We had to wear fireproof clothing.
We were surrounded by molten steel
and things spitting out red hot steel as we walked past.
It was a very dangerous place,
but for some people it’s their everyday workplace.
that inspired me to write it for them.
I imagined the man in the factory
reading my ad.
It was 64 degrees c inside.
When we came out we had to drink
two whole P.E.T. bottles of water each.
A month later I’d written 70 ads.
(ad ad a day keeps redundancy away)
and went on my own to meet a client I’d never met in my life.
He bought 56 of the ads that day
and asked me to tweak most of the rest.
That’s what happens when creatives make the effort
to understand their clients.
That steel company is now the largest in the GCC
and whereas Saudi Arabia used to import quality steel from Europe
Europe and America now buys their steel.
Kev - 8 June 2012 9:13 am
The “previous information” thought is great Vinny.
It’s so true, and I don’t think I’ve ever heard a client, account man, or planner use it in a brief.
I’m going to patent it and nick it right now.
Dave Trott - 8 June 2012 9:48 am
Brilliant story Kev.
That’s the sort of thing young people should be taught before they pick up a pen and start writing funny visuals and puns.
Dave Trott - 8 June 2012 9:52 am
Mr Trott, I suspect creatives still want to do the factory visits etc, if only for a bit of lark. BUT agency management and the bean counters especially, see it as a waste of time.
To them, if you bill the client 10 hours but only put in 5 hours work, then it is profit. To work the same hours as you bill is not profit, to them.
Robin. - 8 June 2012 11:07 am
Kev,
Smart.
As Malcolm Tucker is wont to say, ‘I don’t want brains, I got brains coming out my arse, I want intelligence.’
Incidentally did that account handler not go through the info before he dumped it on you? Also I’d hate to pedantic but an ad a day/70 in a month. Guess maths is not your strong point?
john p woods - 8 June 2012 12:35 pm
Kevin
Muslim’s are generally Sunni in Saudi but Raini in the UK.
Grilla Login - 8 June 2012 1:09 pm
Hi Dave,
This is off subject, but when I attended your ‘Rejects’ course (around 1992/3) I’m pretty sure your Binary Brief had 4 steps. If I’m not imagining things, can you please remind me what the 4th step was?
Thanks, Tom
Tom Hennah - 9 June 2012 7:25 am
Hi Tom,
Great to hear from someone on that course, even better that you remember the binary brief so well.
I tend to leave the 4th step off because it was really only for creatives.
In those days the binary went like this;
1) market share – market growth
2) current users – triallists
3) branding – usp
4) logic – mnemonic
Remember, in those days branding didn’t mean the same as the all-pervasive ‘brand’ means now.
Branding meant getting the name remembered.
So (at GGT) Knirps umbrellas would have been Market Share/Triallists/Branding/Mnemonic:
“You can break a brolly but you can’t k-nacker a K-nirps”
Whereas London Docklands would have been Market Share/Triallists/USP/Logic:
“Why move to the middle of nowhere, when you can move to the middle of London?”.
Hope that helps Tom.
Dave Trott - 9 June 2012 11:43 am
Hey Tom Hennah,
How you doing? You still in NZ?
john p woods - 9 June 2012 4:38 pm
Thanks Dave,
Yes, that does help – and brings back a few memories. Things have certainly moved on bit with branding (and advertising) but the binary brief still stands up. Thanks for your help back then. And now – I’ve been enjoying reading your blog.
Tom Hennah - 10 June 2012 3:26 am
Hi John,
Yes, still in NZ. Still copywriting and still dressing scruffily (although probably slightly better than before). Currently I’m contracting at Colenso BBDO in Auckland. How things with you?
Tom Hennah - 10 June 2012 3:35 am
Tom,
Striving for better…as always. Concentrating on setting up my daughter with basic life skills, she’s 3 on July 1st, at the moment. Consequently on a sabbatical of sorts from the world of communication. Stay lucky.
john p woods - 10 June 2012 6:19 am