HOW TO GROW CONFIDENT KIDS

 

 

Stevie Spring recently gave a talk at our agency.

I knew Stevie from GGT.

Stevie had done a law degree before getting into advertising.

After GGT, she went on to be Chairman of Y&R.

Then CEO of Clear Channel, the massive poster contractors.

Then CEO of Future: the publishing giant with 17,000 employees in the UK and USA.

What I always liked about working with Stevie was there was no flannel, no waffle.

She would take a problem on board, turn it over, walk around it, and eventually have an insight.

Then explain it in the clearest, simplest language.

So anyone could understand it.

Most people don’t have Stevie’s level of thinking.

Because they don’t have that level of confidence.

Which is why they depend on waffle.

To disguise the lack of thinking.

I always wondered where Stevie’s confidence came from.

While she was giving the talk I found out.

Someone asked Stevie who her heroes were.

Without pausing, she said “My dad.”

Then she went on to explain why.

When Stevie and her sister were little, their mum left home.

This left her dad to bring up two young daughters on his own.

Unusual nowadays, but the was the 1950s.

It was unheard of.

Stevie’s dad worked for the railways.

He downgraded his job so he could finish at 3pm every day.

That way he could make sure the girls had a proper home.

Stevie’s dad was working class.

But a side that isn’t portrayed by the media.

The intelligent working class.

And with a sense of humour, a lightness.

Stevie said, he didn’t treat the girls as babies.

He treated them as intelligent human beings.

Capable of understanding, and using their minds to work things out.

The most influential thing for Stevie was they would have regular formal meetings about virtually everything.

At these meetings, Stevie’s dad was Chairman, and would keep minutes.

Her sister Sandi was Secretary.

Stevie was Treasurer.

And the dog was The Committee.

Issues were raised, and discussed in a rational manner.

For instance, if anyone wanted something, say a bike, that was tabled for discussion.

The financial situation was examined.

Dad’s wages were (say) £10 per week, rent was (say) £4 per week, food £2.50, clothing £1.50.

That left £1 per week for unallocated expenditure.

If the bike cost £18, was that the best use of the money?

How many people would benefit?

What were the alternative uses of that money?

Everyone examined and discussed the various implications.

Eventually a consensus was reached that worked for everyone.

Calmly, logically, mutually.

Also on the agendas for these meetings, Stevie’s dad would add a broader issue.

Like apartheid.

Or the Campaign for Nuclear Disarmament.

Or the National Health Service.

Did they work, were they fair?

If so, why?

If not, why not?

Stevie enjoyed the discussions.

But she didn’t realise her mind was being trained.

To be able to look at any situation in life.

Not to be frightened of calmly and logically understanding it, unpacking it, and repacking it.

Also, because her dad worked for the railways, they got free train travel.

And her dad would make sure they made maximum use of all the opportunities for free entertainment and education.

So he might take Stevie and Sandi to Manchester to see a free art exhibition.

Or they might go to Birmingham to see a free film or hear a free talk.

And they’d bring their free library books to read on the way.

They’d go all over the country to see and do really interesting things.

Things they wouldn’t have seen or done otherwise.

Because Stevie’s dad treated having no money as an opportunity, not a problem.

All you had to do was use your brain.

And that was the most important thing Stevie’s dad taught her.

To use her brain.

And if you use your brain, you don’t have to be frightened of anything.

 

Which is where Stevie’s confidence comes from.

 

 

 

 

 

24 Comments

  1. Wow, Dave. Very encouraging and inspiring.

    Robin. - 13 February 2012 10:20 am

  2. Cool Dave. I’ve always thought that writing ads is like being a barrister. Condensing the argument into the simplest form possible. Without the pain of having to spend years do a law degree.

    rachel carroll - 13 February 2012 12:04 pm

  3. Erm…DOING a law degree.

    rachel carroll - 13 February 2012 12:04 pm

  4. Early lesson I got from my dad was to always ask questions.
    “Don’t be afraid of looking stupid.”
    Trouble is there always seems to be more questions than answers.

    john p woods - 13 February 2012 12:58 pm

  5. IMHO that’s a mark of intelligence John.
    Stupid people have more answers than questions.

    Dave Trott - 13 February 2012 1:16 pm

  6. The point about free library books struck a chord. I grew up in a Northern mill town. The great passion of my life was (and is) reading. So I’d go along to Castleton Library two or three times a week. To the library donated in 1906 to the town by Andrew Carnegie, to provide free facilities for people who wouldn’t otherwise have the chance to read. A hundred years later, the library was closed down. Cuts. Rochdale is now one of the poorest towns in Britain. Even McDonalds closed down. There is high unemployment. High drug abuse. High crime. And no Castleton Library to help lift people up and show them there’s a world beyond reality TV and cheap lager. Like the Independent ad said, ‘Don’t read. Don’t think.’

    Tom - 13 February 2012 1:38 pm

  7. Wonderful post, Dave.

    Ciaran McCabe - 13 February 2012 2:19 pm

  8. Thanks Ciaran.

    Dave Trott - 13 February 2012 4:07 pm

  9. A great post Dave. I’m always struck by how many of us in Advertising come from working class backgrounds, yet we seem to do well in corporate environments. I work with university grads who are always surprised by my background.

    Cal - 13 February 2012 4:20 pm

  10. Dave, u have my grateful thanks.

    After reading this post my banana went :-)

    Whereas be4 it was :-(

    Grilla Login - 13 February 2012 6:44 pm

  11. Rachel, Tom:

    I heard Dave failed the finals @ Judge School because he would only issue short sentences.

    Grilla Login - 13 February 2012 6:54 pm

  12. Tom,
    Did you go to Cardinal Langley and if so Coogan’s year or Scholesy’s year?

    john p woods - 13 February 2012 8:07 pm

  13. Dave,
    I probably should have put stupid in inverted commas.
    My dad was good at the old double bluff.
    Do you think it’s more difficult for those that ‘make it’ to insist their offspring ‘go through’ a similar experience of sorts?
    For instance Paul McCartney had Stella go to an ordinary comprehensive and yet Stella has sent her siblings to private school. I’ll wager her children won’t make anything by themselves. Is it that much of a dilemma?

    john p woods - 13 February 2012 10:01 pm

  14. John, no, Cardinal Langley’s is in Middleton, right? I went to school in Oldham. As Cal says, funny how many people in advertising weren’t born with a silver spoon in their mouth. In our job, it’s not where you’re from, it’s where you’re at.

    Tom - 14 February 2012 9:58 am

  15. Tom,
    I trekked over to Cardinal Langley from Shaw! Rochdale College of Art was next up for me. I always liked the American view of things, ‘It’s not where you are from, it’s where you are going.’

    john p woods - 14 February 2012 10:35 am

  16. The idea of the Dog as the committee is brilliant.
    Did he eat the minutes during the meetings?

    Kev - 14 February 2012 10:49 am

  17. I think the words working class have little or no meaning today. They did.
    Don’t ad agencies still mainly employ graduates today? Don’t they currently largely employ white middle class (whatever that means) people. That is a real question btw, I haven’t done a survey.
    There is no reason why advertising shouldn’t be a meritocracy I guess.

    Jim - 14 February 2012 10:51 am

  18. Is meritocracy or more critically social mobility a bit of an illusion? Is ‘the game’ rigged?
    I guess whatever you think the answer is, the trick is always to position oneself accordingly.

    john p woods - 14 February 2012 11:03 am

  19. what a lovely thought provoking and heartwarming post. Really good advice, am currently on way to the zoo with my 8 year old twin nephews so will try this technique when they want everything in the gift shop!

    Lisa batty - 14 February 2012 11:56 am

  20. One of the brightest writers of the last 30 years was James (Lord) Lowther. One of the brightest writers of the 30 years was David Abbott (son of a tobacconist). They got where they did by what they could do, not where they came from…

    Tom - 14 February 2012 1:40 pm

  21. Would you then say the critical question is always what shaped them, as Dave extracted from the guest speaker?
    Personally I always think there is more to it than any one ‘convenient’ answer.
    Guess we just gotta keep asking questions.

    john p woods - 14 February 2012 2:06 pm

  22. Just to clarify when I said ‘…positioning oneself accordingly’.
    Once we’ve determined the strategy it’s then all down to tactics, wouldn’t you say Dave?

    john p woods - 14 February 2012 7:09 pm

  23. Brilliant parenting technique = treating children like intelligent people = treating all people like intelligent human beings. We human beings are indeed exceptionally talented at fitting into the roles others expect of us. Stevie sounds like an inspiration.

    Thanks for the inspirational post!

    Glenn Friesen - 16 February 2012 7:34 pm

  24. People still don’t understand there are multiple pathways for intelligence.
    Passing exams is just one very narrow avenue.
    It means you end up with educated idiots who cannot think for themselves.
    They have to be spoon-fed thought.
    This is proven by the lack of people
    retaining the knowlege of what they have learnt years later.
    Another sign of intelligence is wit.
    I work with people with learning disabilities
    and quite frankly they are far brighter
    and a lot more fun than the average man in the street
    because they have the unexpected built-in.
    that makes them interesting.
    It’s time they appeared in TV ads Dave.

    Kev - 16 February 2012 10:07 pm

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